WOW!

WOW! that's the first words out of my mouth right now...I just read my last post and Wow...so much has happened...I met a wonderful loving guy...someone who feel absolutely head over heels for me...meanwhile I was rather cautious...stood back...and at first resistant to his advances. So we had already met when I'd sent my last post...we met in late January/early February and well at the end of March we made things official to our friends etc...So the next three months flew by spending some fantastic fabulous times with friends...even some mutual friends in fact...it was awesome and really beautiful...sadly though...last week we broke up...decided to end our relationship.

So our paths have parted and although I have remained a strong person initially, i'm finding things a little tough this past week...just getting used to the idea of continuing my journey without somebody by my side...but at the same time I'm joyous and happy that I've had that opportunity to spendtime with someone so fantastic fabulous and totally beautiful. WOW it's been good.

In my reflection though I've discovered that I've still much to learn about myself and how much I need to grow through life...learning about the things I will compromise on and the things that I absolutely won't compromise on as well as how i react to various situations and circumstances...

So here I am off on a new adventure, a new journey, a new beginning...where this road leads or what is around the corner I don't know but it will be fun and exciting, filled with lots of new experiences, new people and most of all many familiar friendly faces.

That's all for now...until next time

right now...here...

so i'm sitting here this morning...just finished my liquid breakfast of a banana and berry protein shake...home made of course...and i'm reflecting on my weekend...I had a great time with some fantastic people on Friday and Saturday night but on Sunday and Monday i've discovered a part of me that's still bitter and angry...is it bitter and angry at everyone elses happiness and freedom...that's what it looks like sometimes...bitter and angry that other can have wonderful relationships and friendships...I believe I have some wonderful beautiful people in my life...but I truly do yearn for that closeness of a soul mate...someone who believes in me and who I am...someone who I believe in...someone who I just click with and enjoy the talkative and quiet moments with...the happy and sad...the upset and excited.

So I head off to another day and I understand that I need to do so much more with myself...I have so much more to learn to be a person...to be more compassionate, kind and loving.

2008...reflections

so....i just looked at my last post...nearly three months ago...so much has happened...so much has been...christmas has been celebrated...2008 has been bid farewell and 2009 has truly begun and very much swung into action...but before writing about that...2008...my reflections...last year i spent the first six months in nearly total isolation from people and from things...my goal being to lose a significant amount of weight and with that sort through some of the stuff going through my head...which is soon very much realised yet again has a significant impact on the amount of weight that is carried to protect oneself...so 10 kgs later i attended my sisters wedding in Cairns...needless to say it was great...it was awesome to catch up with so many people as well as wear a suit for the first time in over 16 years! On top of that it was probably close to 18 years since I'd been below 100kg in body weight.

So the second half of the year saw many things happen including meeting some beautiful sweet guys from many different parts of the country...I went on my first date in over 3 years...and i finally started to begin to consider sharing my life with people...friendships started blossoming and blooming...I met new people...found a confidence within. the weight loss has continued and I started the Think Slim package through my personal training company...and one of the biggest things I learnt is gratitude...to be thankful for each and every thing every day...no matter how big or how small. I also learnt and continue to learn about acceptance...acceptance...not as per my previous post about the acceptance and approval of other but that the true acceptance and approval of me needs to come truly from me from within a deep part of me that i'd not really venture before and well when i do it's amazing the person i find...the person i truly show and become...

But back to gratitude...I am most grateful and ever thankful for all the truly wonderful and beautiful things of 2008...for the big and small things...for those ahah moments..for the beautiful people...for the new and old people who i've shared part of the journey with in the past twelve months... I say thank you to all that has been given...each opportunity and experience i had...for the lessons learnt and understanding gleaned...i am ever grateful :-)

So 2008 is now over and past and it's time to turn to 2009 and look what is holds...