feeling exhausted

WOW!! I feel like i've done a million things this weekend...even though in fact i've done really little.  I was quite disappointed yesterday when i hopped on the scales and they popped back a horrid figure of 95kgs!!!!! I was like what the!!! I've been working so hard and trying to eat right and that... my clothes are starting to feel looser but yet i'm still 95kg!!! I'm shocked, disappointed and somewhat lost for words.

But...you know on reflection I need to move forward...so I've started cooking healthy meals this weekend...to store for later in the week when I get tired...tomorrow I start back on my good ol' long black coffees and I start measuring my cereal in the morning and being strict about my what I'm putting I'm eating and drinking...and I need to get that fourth exercise session happening!  It's a struggle and I know the exhaustion is linked to the amount of exercise and healthy food I'm having.  So all in all, I'm getting there slowly.  but I've got 106 days to get back on track and sorted in time for my amazing journey to becoming a personal trainer. 

My goal in being a personal trainer is to inspire and encourage others on their journey.  To beat the obstacles and bound over the hurdles and achieve things beyond their wildest dreams!! 

 I've been giving some thought to a name and I've considered Empower Personal Training! But there's quite a few businesses out there with that name.  I don't know whether they fully understand what it is to empower people though!  So back to the drawing board on that one.  I'm sure the right name will come at the right time! :-)

Anyway nearly time for bed!

 

monday

So Monday...busy day...so much happening at work...but i managed to sort out the problems that I faced at the end of last week and move forward from them.  Apparently though my view of the situation  was slightly different to the view of the other person's. But not to worry, I've set the precedent for the way forward and *fingers crossed* as we're moving in the next week or so, I'll hopefully not have to sit next to the person. Yahoo!  I'm so grateful that things turned out ok!

So what else happened...did a group class tonight...only four of us. My friend G was unwell which is not good...hopefully she's better next week.  I know she did enjoy it.  I'm hoping that once I get my qualifications I'll be in a position to run a few classes like this.  It will certainly help with cashflow, that's for sure...saving for my o'seas trip....going to Japan next March and then hopefully in late 2011 / early 2012 off to Europe and the UK for a little bit.

So now have had dinner and waiting for the washing to finish so i've got pants to wear to work and A's jacket is clean to wear to work.  So looking forward to sleep tonight as I've got a big day tomorrow.

Well the machine's just beeped...so it's bye from me for now!

right now...here...

so i'm sitting here this morning...just finished my liquid breakfast of a banana and berry protein shake...home made of course...and i'm reflecting on my weekend...I had a great time with some fantastic people on Friday and Saturday night but on Sunday and Monday i've discovered a part of me that's still bitter and angry...is it bitter and angry at everyone elses happiness and freedom...that's what it looks like sometimes...bitter and angry that other can have wonderful relationships and friendships...I believe I have some wonderful beautiful people in my life...but I truly do yearn for that closeness of a soul mate...someone who believes in me and who I am...someone who I believe in...someone who I just click with and enjoy the talkative and quiet moments with...the happy and sad...the upset and excited.

So I head off to another day and I understand that I need to do so much more with myself...I have so much more to learn to be a person...to be more compassionate, kind and loving.